Should You Fake It ‘Til You Make It?

personal development professional development Feb 07, 2022

Confidence is a huge part of success. It's an important step towards  getting buy-in and creating legitimacy around something. But there’s a BIG difference between presenting  confidence and actually BEING confident. An air of confidence without any actual skill, work or effort backing that up is dangerous. 

You’ve probably heard of the “fake it til you make it” mentality. In reality, you shouldn’t be aiming to fake it. You should be aiming to "live it" and instead share the confidence you’ve gained from your experience with others. Authenticity is a huge part of confidence. If you aren’t being authentic, then your confidence will eventually peel away and show that you’ve been faking it this whole time. 

This doesn’t mean that if you’re just starting out, you shouldn’t have confidence. You have to start somewhere, even if it’s from square one. What you need to understand is what you should be confident about.

How Do We Build Confidence?

  1. Be confident in your skills: 
    Instead of misleading someone about your experience with a certain platform or system, be confident about your ability to learn how to accomplish it and become more familiar. This means it's ok to say "I've never done that before, but I trust that I can learn how to do it." 

  2. Put in the time and effort: 
    It's no secret that hard work is essential to getting better at just about anything. If you aren't putting the time in, it's a safe bet you won't feel too secure in your abilities. So make time to get better, practice and get experience. It all adds up, even just 30 minutes a day.
  3. Remember Your Why: When you start to doubt yourself, remember why you want to reach this goal in the first place. Why is this important? Why do you need to do this? Chances are there are other people involved in your why. Maybe it's for your family, maybe it's for your community. Let them inspire you to put in the work and build your confidence that you are adding value and providing a need. 
  4. Engage with others who believe in you: 
    Sometimes the biggest source of confidence can be someone on your team or your inner circle. Their confidence, belief and excitement about what you can achieve can be a boost to your own opinion of yourself. So next time you feel really lost and can't seem to find that confidence, give someone you love and respect a call and let them inspire you. (And don't forget to do the same to them). 

When you are confident and back it up with authenticity, a few things happen. You project a sense of security to those around you. People trust that you will do what you say you are going to do. They feel comfortable taking risks with you because they know you’ll work hard to make it happen. This doesn’t mean they believe that everything will go perfectly - but they want to go on the journey with you. 

Your conviction can also inspire confidence in others. When you are confident about something, you can help someone else reach that same level of belief. Good teams are confident in each other and continue to inspire growth and confidence within themselves. 

And, when you trust your own abilities, you are not only showing confidence to others, but you are also showing that you believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either. No one will buy in if you don’t think it will work, and aren’t confident enough about your own abilities. You have to be willing to bet on YOU. 

So take a look at your goals. What abilities do you need to work on to feel more confident in those areas? What is authentically you? Remember, confidence involves being authentic, emphasizing your skills, and believing in yourself. Only when these three things are put into practice for you will you be able to really benefit from confidence.


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